For my little sister Lara and her husband (Chicken) on their wedding day.
I first met the chicken alone on the stair,
A scruffy young posh boy with fluffy blond hair,
Thick chunky legs poking out from his shorts,
He was bad with girls, but good at sports.
First impressions of the new boy in school,
Were less Casanova, more village fool,
On the palm of his hand a colossal red blister,
He was the kind of guy you could trust with your sister.
But let’s not forget that way back then,
Our heroine was probably not yet ten,
There was plenty of time for this handsome young prince,
To trim his nails and have a good rinse.
The years went by and chicken became,
A bit of a legend, renowned throughout Thame,
But his time was spent out chasing balls in the dirt,
When perhaps he should have been chasing some skirt.
Meanwhile, Larisa Poppy Moore was growing up!
She cast off the tantrums and childish tears,
And on reaching the age of 18 years,
The local economy started roaring,
As sales of Lambrini and Breezers went soaring.
Her and her wonderfully happy band,
Would have nightly adventures, get right out of hand,
As the nights grew longer, the skirts got shorter,
She was very much her mother’s daughter.
But for all of the parties and drunk fun and laughter,
A partner in crime was all she was after,
A strapping young sportsman to hang around,
But apparently those are thin on the ground.
So, we have one a sporting hero, afraid of girls,
And a local young damsel with pretty brown curls,
Hoping to catch a ‘rugby sort’,
The former just hoping he might get caught.
The only thing that could stand in between,
The greatest love story the world had even seen,
Was a raging brother with a grip like a vice,
But I actually thought it was all rather nice.
I first put two and two together,
On an August afternoon, with temperate weather,
‘Twas Lara’s birthday in old London town,
And chicken just happened to be around.
The situation got steadily scarier,
As chicken was increasingly ‘just in the area’,
One thing naturally led to another,
And I was on track for another brother.
Time to conclude.
They’re a partnership of quite some note,
And on each other they count and devote,
When together they’re never glum,
Adversity and sadness they overcome.
They’re peas in a pod, a perfect match,
And, in their own special way, an excellent catch,
So from a proud big brother and a lifelong friend,
I wish you both the world ‘til the very end.