To the tune of the 12 days of Christmas.  

On the first application the council said to me,
We’re not going to make this eeeeeasy.

On the second application the council said to me,
It’s a very simple process, but we’re not going to make it eeeeeasy.

On the third application the council said to me,
This is gonna cost you, it’s a very simple process, but we’re not going to make it eeeeeeasy.

On the fourth application the council said to me,
We don’t work on Friday, this is gonna cost you, it’s a very simple process, but we’re not going to make it eeeeeeasy.

On the fifth application the council said to me,
Fiiiive pointless things. We don’t work on Friday, this is gonna cost you, it’s a very simple process but we’re not going to make it eeeeasy.

On the sixth application the council said to me,
I’m wearing brown corduroy trousers, and then fiiiive pointless things. We don’t work on Friday, this is gonna cost you, it’s a very simple process but we’re not going to make it eeeeasy.

On the seventh application the council said to me,
Please re-write it all in black ink, I’m in brown corduroy trousers, and then fiiiiive stupid pointless things. We don’t work on Friday, this is gonna cost you, it’s a very simple process but we’re not going to make it eeeeeasy.

On the eighth application the council said to me,
Yes I am a dreadful jobsworth, just re-write it all in black ink, yup that’s right brown corduroy trousers, and then fiiiiive pointless things. We don’t work on Friday, this is gonna cost you, it’s a very simple process but we’re not going to make it eeeeeasy.

On the ninth application the council said to me,
Please refrain from swearing, yes I am a dreadful jobsworth, just re-write it all in black ink, I’m in brown corduroy trousers, and then fiiiiive pointless things. We don’t work on Friday, this is gonna cost you, it’s a very simple process but we’re not going to make it eeeeeasy.

On the tenth application the council said to me,
Oh, you’ve come down to the office, will you please refrain from swearing, yes I am a dreadful jobsworth, just re-write it all in black ink, I’m in brown corduroy trousers, and then fiiiiive pointless things. We don’t work on Friday, this is gonna cost you, it’s a very simple process but we’re not going to make it eeeeasy.

On the eleventh application the council said to me,
We don’t respond to violence, but you’ve come down to the office, please please please refrain from swearing, I’m a sweaty woeful jobsworth, just re-write it all in black ink, mind my poo brown corduroy trousers, and then fiiiiive stupid pointless things. We don’t work on Friday, this is really gonna cost you, it’s such a simple simple process but we’re not going to make it eeeeasy.

On the twelfth application the council said to me,
Application approved.